Tag: #Personalevolution

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On Parenting

I didn’t have much guidance when I became a parent.

I had my parent’s example and I am grateful, but I would have liked to know more of what was involved. I was not ready physically, mentally, emotionally or espiritually, and neither was my partner. We did the best we could with what we knew. My kids picked up so much on their own, and grew up to be independent beautiful beings, and I am grateful for that.

As a teacher and a yogi, I’ve learned a thing or two that I would have liked to implement when they were young. I would have liked to guide them earlier and deeper in some areas in order to prepare them for life.

1. One with all- The understanding that my actions affect others as well as myself- My thoughts, words and actions are powerful energies that can hurt or heal others and myself. A repeated thought can make me sick and can make someone else sick.

2. I am more than my mind- My thoughts should not be in charge of my life. I, as the observer, can make the decision to align my thoughts, my words and my actions. My thoughts cause my anxiety or my sadness. When emotions arise, I can make proactive decisions on how to deal with them. The mind can be trained.

3. Gratitude- So many of us have been taught to focus on what we don’t have. To make the shift to be grateful for my life, for opportunities, for possibilities, for what I am and what I have, brings peace.

4. Letting-go- Living and loving without harmful attachments has been the subject of many lessons in my life. It’s much easier to let go when you love freely and without conditions.

5. Putting my mask on first- if we don’t put our mask on first before our child, not my child or I may survive a plane emergency. The same goes for life. The parent needs to eat, sleep, exercise, rest, and have opportunities for laughter and creativity to have the energy to be a caregiver.

6. Going in- understanding the importance to getting to know myself, to accept myself, and to love myself just because I am. Only when we are here, can we love others freely. We need to stand strong before partnering with others.

7. Living a purposeful life- One where we are at peace with ourselves, one that helps us grow in all areas of our life, and one that makes a difference in others.

8. Living a life by design- Understanding that we are not the stories we live. That we can learn from them and move on. And understanding that I can cocreate experiences in my life to make me a better person and to enjoy life.

9. Disconnecting from the world-
Understanding that the world can be overwhelming and that’s important to rest the mind and the body daily. We are not Superman or superwoman.

10. Stop, analyze, and decide- we live in a fast world. It requires some planning, organizing, prioritizing, and making decisions. We need to make sure those decisions are good for us in a week, in a year or in 5 years.

Unfortunately, there is no school in our society that helps us become capable parents. We can at least grow and change with our lessons in life, and hopefully, that will help our grown children or others around us.

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I Am Not My Story

That was the title of one of my speeches a week ago. Yes, I am not my story or the stories I live through. We came to this life to experience certain situations, but we did not come to stay in them. Some experiences feel pleasurable and some, not so much. It is difficult to let go of the difficult or painful situations, and sometimes we carry the emotions of those experiences for long periods of times.

Here are some ways that can help us move on:

1. Mending Connections: Forgiving others, asking for forgiveness, and forgiving ourselves is a requirement. I have come to realize that all of them are necessary even if we think that we don’t hold a grudge, or that it’s someone else’s fault, or we think it’s all our fault. “It takes two to Tango.” And forgiving ourselves is necessary so we can breathe and make room for more goodness in our life.

2. Doing Inner Work: At the time we are letting go of a painful experience, having support is great. However, that sense of security may trick us into thinking that we are strong on our own. That support may move when we least expect it. We need to go through the process of accepting and loving ourselves no matter what our stories have been, no matter what situation we are in. This may require some brain washing on our part using positive affirmations and other activities to change our thinking and raise our frequency.

3. Having an Antidote: After we have done the forgiveness process, and we accept and love ourselves no-matter-what, it’s possible to believe that we are immune to anything and that we are not going to feel the pain from a previous story, but certain situations may trigger thoughts and memories that evoke emotions that overpower us. At this time, I think an antidote is in order. The most powerful one I know is gratitude. You may think that it is impossible to be grateful for your painful experience, but I am here to tell you that it is not only possible, it’s the only way to move forward. Remember the saying, “Everything happens for a reason?” Well, finding out what was the reason for our experience, finding out the lesson, helps us realize that there is something worth of gratitude. So, anytime, a painful memory comes, we give it a shot of gratitude until all that’s left is gratitude.

If I had not hit rock bottom in one of my experiences, I would not have learned about meditation, if I had not learned meditation, I would not have known that there were possibilities for me, and I wouldn’t have realized that I could co-create with the Universe experiences that could help me grow and that could give me joy. Maybe you attracted your experience so that you could raise your children differently, or so you could help others, or so you could see life differently.

So, I am not my story, I have a story (many stories), And I am grateful, are you?

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Is It My Fire?

Is it a fire? Is it yours? Does it need to be taken care of right now?

I remember when I worked as a teacher in a school in West Palm. We taught the children to become more independent while working in small groups or on their own. The teacher would be working with 1 student or a couple of students and did not want to be interrupted. The rule was that if it was a fire (major disaster) or someone was bleeding, you could interrupt. Otherwise, you could ask another student or decide to do something else that was productive. The child could responsibly, use the bathroom, sharpen his pencil, or get up to get a needed material. (All these options would be modeled and practiced before they did it on their own.)

In our life people interrupt us at work and at home. It is possible not to meet our goals if we continuously stop for others.

At my last conference, we were discussing the importance of stopping, analyzing and deciding. Something I forget to do sometimes.

I believe we can prevent some of the interruptions by foreseeing what others that depend on us may need, and seeing how we can give them the strategies and tools to solve some things themselves.

Interruptions will come anyway, so here is an idea. Ask yourself,

1. Is it a fire?
What is the urgency and intensity of the problem?

2. Is it my fire?
Am I the only one that knows how to put it out? Can I use this moment to train someone? Can I delegate? Can we partner on the task?

3. Does it need to be put out this instant?
Can I finish what I am doing, and then deal with it?

We can’t have a rule to resolve everything right away or to delay every time there is an interruption because all interruptions are different.

So, STOP! ANALYZE! DECIDE! It takes a few minutes, but the consequences may make a major difference in reaching your goals and supporting others in ways they can become more independent.

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No Matter What Happens

A couple of nights ago I had an interesting dream. I don’t know a lot about dreams, but I understand that all the participants in my dreams are me, even if the faces are different.

In this one, there was a younger version of someone I barely knew, and he was asking me, “How do you take care of the jitters when performing in life?”

“The way to do it is by understanding and knowing that everything is going to be fine no matter what happens!” I answered. (My higher self?)

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS everything will be fine. Do you have to be reminded of that sometimes? When we look at some parts of life, they don’t always look so pleasant on the surface. It’s not always easy to see the good. How could an accident be good? How could being kicked out of a job be good? How could someone asking you for a divorce be good?

As you are going through these things, you may feel like you are drowning. The moment you catch your breath and begin to reflect, it’s a perfect time to put your feelings to one side. Feelings tend to blind us. Now you are able to see that before the accident you were going to embark in something you were not ready for, or you were doing too much in your life and the Universe gave you a reason to slow down. Maybe the job you were in was not fulfilling you, or you were no longer being productive, and you were forcing it. Maybe you two had grown in different directions, and it was time to be “you.”

Experience should teach us that in the long run it will be fine. In the short run, we should also remember that being grateful is a great way to find the good in the now. Even when we don’t yet see it in something, it’s helpful to keep the saying, “All things happen for a reason,” handy, to remind us that NO MATTER WHAT, all will be well! All is well!

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Is Life All About Relationships

-How we relate to ourselves
-How we relate to each other
-How we relate to beliefs and ideas
-How we relate to what we call things
-How we relate to the world and the universe

If all, including us and our ideas, is composed of particles of energy, when we enter something or someone else’s field of energy, we are affecting theirs and they are affecting ours.

It’s important to understand this to make decisions about what fields to enter and if we need protection. We may decide to help someone who is in anger, sadness or is physically sick, and sometimes how we are affected is visible to the eyes, sometimes to the emotions, and sometimes it’s deeper.

Today I invite you to relate wisely. Give and help others in ways that your energy is not diminished, and make sure to recharge with people, animals, plants and situations that raise your energy level.

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Who’s Driving Your Train?

Most of us believe that we are in charge of our life, but are we? When we are born, we already come with a predisposition to act in specific ways. I know that my siblings did not react the same way I did to the world. So, where do those patterns of behavior come from? Most of us know that our genetic imprint, or DNA carries the genes that encode the skin, and the eyes, and that mutations in them cause diseases. We now know that they also carry our ancestral and cultural imprints. So, our behaviors may come from a great, great grandparent. We can already see the resemblance in our physical body, why not in the other areas? Studies of children who are adopted have also shown the deep cultural imprints that may be dominant in someone’s life. That is not all, those who believe in reincarnation say that it is possible that we have been carrying our behaviors for several lifetimes. Why do we keep carrying these behaviors?

Early on, there is a part of us that develops and finds its place in our life, that’s the ego. It takes shape as we see ourselves separate from our parents. The ego is our self-image. One of the favorite pastimes of the ego is to drive the train, and the train is your life. Its other pastime is to make you submit to the behavior patterns you have been carrying, because if you stay the same and do not change, you do not have to take risks and get hurt. The ego is constantly protecting you with the use of arrogance, so others don’t see the real you, or by requiring constant approval from others. Your behavior patterns could include always having drama, being accident prone, being constantly, or constantly pleasing others like in my case. The ego makes sure that you continue faithful to your pattern because at some time in the past you accepted it as part of your belief system. The funny thing is that nobody is imposing this on you, you are. If the behavior no longer serves you, you do not have to keep it. It’s time to shake up our belief system to let go of what is no longer useful.

If our life is the train, the track is our behavior pattern, and the conductor, the ego, is driving, then, where am I? In the back of the train? Oh, no! It’s time to have a talk with the conductor. He needs to give-up his seat. How do we go about doing this? The first thing is to start observing ourselves using “the bird’s eye view.” As we separate ourselves from situations and relationships and look down on ourselves, we can see how we are acting and reacting; what behaviors are being repeated, and what behaviors are serving us. The next thing is to stop wanting to control everything; stop wanting to get approval for everything; stop inventing rules to stay in our comfort zone, or stop wanting to please everybody. Finally, we need to make some decisions. We need to decide that we are not the role we are playing. I can be a teacher at this time, later I can be a learner, then I can be a mother, or a helper. We can play the role and comeback to just being. We also must decide to give ourselves permission to be free to change our mind when necessary and allow ourselves to take risks that give us life.

Personal evolution happens when we go beyond our egos.

Be well!