That was the title of one of my speeches a week ago. Yes, I am not my story or the stories I live through. We came to this life to experience certain situations, but we did not come to stay in them. Some experiences feel pleasurable and some, not so much. It is difficult to let go of the difficult or painful situations, and sometimes we carry the emotions of those experiences for long periods of times.
Here are some ways that can help us move on:
1. Mending Connections: Forgiving others, asking for forgiveness, and forgiving ourselves is a requirement. I have come to realize that all of them are necessary even if we think that we don’t hold a grudge, or that it’s someone else’s fault, or we think it’s all our fault. “It takes two to Tango.” And forgiving ourselves is necessary so we can breathe and make room for more goodness in our life.
2. Doing Inner Work: At the time we are letting go of a painful experience, having support is great. However, that sense of security may trick us into thinking that we are strong on our own. That support may move when we least expect it. We need to go through the process of accepting and loving ourselves no matter what our stories have been, no matter what situation we are in. This may require some brain washing on our part using positive affirmations and other activities to change our thinking and raise our frequency.
3. Having an Antidote: After we have done the forgiveness process, and we accept and love ourselves no-matter-what, it’s possible to believe that we are immune to anything and that we are not going to feel the pain from a previous story, but certain situations may trigger thoughts and memories that evoke emotions that overpower us. At this time, I think an antidote is in order. The most powerful one I know is gratitude. You may think that it is impossible to be grateful for your painful experience, but I am here to tell you that it is not only possible, it’s the only way to move forward. Remember the saying, “Everything happens for a reason?” Well, finding out what was the reason for our experience, finding out the lesson, helps us realize that there is something worth of gratitude. So, anytime, a painful memory comes, we give it a shot of gratitude until all that’s left is gratitude.
If I had not hit rock bottom in one of my experiences, I would not have learned about meditation, if I had not learned meditation, I would not have known that there were possibilities for me, and I wouldn’t have realized that I could co-create with the Universe experiences that could help me grow and that could give me joy. Maybe you attracted your experience so that you could raise your children differently, or so you could help others, or so you could see life differently.
So, I am not my story, I have a story (many stories), And I am grateful, are you?