Every moment of every day, unless we are asleep, we have decisions to make. Should I get up now or in five minutes, should I have fruit or eggs for breakfast, should I take the day off, should I start this project, should I exercise, should I call a friend, should I cut somebody off on the road because they are going to slow… Everything is a decision. All these decisions affect our life now and in the future. What kind of future do we want? Are we equipped to make all these decisions and be content with what we have done with ourselves in a year, in five, or in ten?
I have come to realize that decision-making is an art, and only through continuous observation of ourselves, and love for ourselves and others, can we be satisfied with what we have decided and have become.
Observing yourself and getting to know yourself requires inner work. You need to understand why you behave the way you do, and why you like the things you do. For a while, I worked with a bioneuroemotion coach who helped me see those patterns of behavior that were part of my culture, and my ancestors that didn’t serve me. Beyond that, I learned that there are unresolved traumas or events in my past that blocked or filtered my thoughts. The only way to heal so deeply, for me was and still is, meditation. I have used different types of meditation in my healing process. Just being quiet and still is a great beginning. I have used kundalini meditations, voicing mantras, or using a personal mantra given by my guruji. The latter is a technique that helps in clearing the mind by decreasing the number of thoughts and increasing the quality of the thought. Your thoughts and decision process become more productive.
Observation of your actions and reactions to others and situations is also very helpful. You need to become a third person as if you were a bird overlooking your interactions in different situations. This observation must be objective. You are not here to judge, but to learn why you act the way you do. This will help you decide what you want to be, and what you can and cannot live with in any particular situation and in your life. The process of observing yourself is never ending because we change, and that is good.
As I observed myself, I realized that there were parts of me I didn’t like so much, and some that I could not change right away or maybe not in this life. I learned that if I didn’t come to terms with that and accept myself just the way I was, I could never be free to be me and to accomplish my goals. So, I began to love myself no matter what-No matter what I looked-like, no matter what my past was like, no matter what things I was not good at doing, no matter what! I stopped trying to measure up to anybody’s expectations including mine. Loving others and accepting others was not as much of a problem for me, but this part is also essential in making decisions because our goal should be to “Do no harm.” We are all connected, and our decisions affect those around us. And the results of those decisions come back to us.
Now that all this is in place, making decisions is a matter of keeping some things in mind and practicing. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you make decisions.
- Does this option reflect a love of self, others and nature? Yes
- Am I attached to the outcome? Do I have a specific expectation for the result? No
- Have I visualized the positive feeling I and others will have as a result of this decision? Yes
- Does it serve the purpose that it was intended for? Yes
- Do I see myself answering questions 1-4 the same in 6 months or in 1-10 years? Yes
I am a student of life sharing my lessons. Please use what I share after running it through the filter of your mind and your heart together.
Be well!