Most of us believe that we are in charge of our life, but are we? When we are born, we already come with a predisposition to act in specific ways. I know that my siblings did not react the same way I did to the world. So, where do those patterns of behavior come from? Most of us know that our genetic imprint, or DNA carries the genes that encode the skin, and the eyes, and that mutations in them cause diseases. We now know that they also carry our ancestral and cultural imprints. So, our behaviors may come from a great, great grandparent. We can already see the resemblance in our physical body, why not in the other areas? Studies of children who are adopted have also shown the deep cultural imprints that may be dominant in someone’s life. That is not all, those who believe in reincarnation say that it is possible that we have been carrying our behaviors for several lifetimes. Why do we keep carrying these behaviors?
Early on, there is a part of us that develops and finds its place in our life, that’s the ego. It takes shape as we see ourselves separate from our parents. The ego is our self-image. One of the favorite pastimes of the ego is to drive the train, and the train is your life. Its other pastime is to make you submit to the behavior patterns you have been carrying, because if you stay the same and do not change, you do not have to take risks and get hurt. The ego is constantly protecting you with the use of arrogance, so others don’t see the real you, or by requiring constant approval from others. Your behavior patterns could include always having drama, being accident prone, being constantly, or constantly pleasing others like in my case. The ego makes sure that you continue faithful to your pattern because at some time in the past you accepted it as part of your belief system. The funny thing is that nobody is imposing this on you, you are. If the behavior no longer serves you, you do not have to keep it. It’s time to shake up our belief system to let go of what is no longer useful.
If our life is the train, the track is our behavior pattern, and the conductor, the ego, is driving, then, where am I? In the back of the train? Oh, no! It’s time to have a talk with the conductor. He needs to give-up his seat. How do we go about doing this? The first thing is to start observing ourselves using “the bird’s eye view.” As we separate ourselves from situations and relationships and look down on ourselves, we can see how we are acting and reacting; what behaviors are being repeated, and what behaviors are serving us. The next thing is to stop wanting to control everything; stop wanting to get approval for everything; stop inventing rules to stay in our comfort zone, or stop wanting to please everybody. Finally, we need to make some decisions. We need to decide that we are not the role we are playing. I can be a teacher at this time, later I can be a learner, then I can be a mother, or a helper. We can play the role and comeback to just being. We also must decide to give ourselves permission to be free to change our mind when necessary and allow ourselves to take risks that give us life.
Personal evolution happens when we go beyond our egos.