Is Life All About Relationships

-How we relate to ourselves
-How we relate to each other
-How we relate to beliefs and ideas
-How we relate to what we call things
-How we relate to the world and the universe

If all, including us and our ideas, is composed of particles of energy, when we enter something or someone else’s field of energy, we are affecting theirs and they are affecting ours.

It’s important to understand this to make decisions about what fields to enter and if we need protection. We may decide to help someone who is in anger, sadness or is physically sick, and sometimes how we are affected is visible to the eyes, sometimes to the emotions, and sometimes it’s deeper.

Today I invite you to relate wisely. Give and help others in ways that your energy is not diminished, and make sure to recharge with people, animals, plants and situations that raise your energy level.

Self Discovery

Some education systems are obsessed with testing, and some are focused on individual self discovery and teachable moments. Which one do you think is more productive?

One of my hats is teaching reading to children who have difficulty learning. I have made it my goal to help each child discover the magic in learning. If they love learning, our relationship is easy. They ask for more things to learn about and for different ways to learn them. I give them choices from what I have planned specifically for them, and they choose with enthusiasm enjoying the task they are given.

If a student leaves school feeling that everything is hard or feeling that there’s no purpose in learning, we have failed. There are many unmotivated kids sitting at home after their schooling is done.

I don’t know how to infuse a love for learning in schools that follow the format of competition that began for me with FCAT (a Florida assessment given in the third grade that was equivalent to taking the Bar as a lawyer). Those tests have only gotten harder because they don’t take into account the individual child; what he or she has learned and it’s application to life. Now, teachers just have to teach test taking skills and the exact skills on the test. How sad is that. It will just serve as comparison to other schools which is translated into money given to a school. It is such a stressful situation to all involved including the children.

eI left the system several year ago and I couldn’t be happier. I make a difference one child at the time. There’s great satisfaction when they come back to the office saying things like, “I am sorry I had to go ahead one more chapter because the story was so good… or Can I start reading chapter books?or …Could we focus more on math? I need to get better at subtraction…. or Can you help me write a speech for Boy Scouts or an essay to get into the young firefighter cadets? Many times our next step comes from them.

In Finland and other countries, children begin to discover themselves and make decisions at an early age. They are expected to choose a sport and electives early on. They are also given lots of freedoms where they have to make choices constantly. These kids actually do better on academic tests when compared to kids in other countries. Their focus is not on the test, but on the child’s growth and wellbeing.

Our goal in education should be to help students learn who they are and what they are able to do, and to help them have a thirst for knowledge so they are not afraid or lazy to apply it, understanding that it’s all part of the process. They also need to learn to think and make decisions on their own. This takes practice and we can give them that time while they are still kids.

If this has not happened as children, when we become adults, we have difficulty knowing what we would love for our lives to be. We have difficulty choosing careers or staying in them. We have difficulty relating to others, and finding satisfaction in what we do.

Let’s help our little ones to discover themselves, to enjoy learning, and to love life.

Your DreamBuilder Coach

education #testing #lifedream #Finnisheducation #selfdiscovery #loveoflearning #values #Absolutelyrelativethebook

Soldiers or Warriors

We are either soldiers or warriors.

A soldier follows instructions well, and fights wars or supports wars that may or may not resonate with her (or him). She serves with no regard for her wellbeing, and she may go against her beliefs and values to get the job done. She fights by habit, and it’s possible she may forget who she is in the process.

A warrior has been a soldier previously (most likely). She (He) knows how to follow instructions well, but now, she puts those instructions against her beliefs and values and decides if a battle is a worthy cause or not. A warrior spends most of her time being, rather than fighting. Yes, she may have to take out her sword which may look like words or specific actions, but since she is connected to a power greater than her, she can use those wisely. Her sword is not used for revenge or for the sake of destroying, but to help others wake-up to become warriors who listen to their own inner voices.

Being a warrior requires courage and humility. Sometimes it’s easier to stay dormant calling it being peaceful. When we are not sure if we should fight, lets reflect on the cause, our values and purpose, our state, and our resources. Does the cause align to our purpose? Are we physically and emotionaly ready? Do we have the proper tools to do it? If the answer is yes, it is time. Perfection as we define it is impossible, but we can get ourselves ready the best that we can, and that is good enough.

Today I invite you to see if you are being a soldier or a warrior and in what areas of your life. If you are being a soldier, I invite you to be courageous and take a step to choose causes that align with your values, and to choose being more often than doing.

Facebook Post- October 19, 2019

Our Humanity Steps Out

Stepping into a new way of life or a dream requires courage and vulnerability.

Courage to go deep inside ourselves to figure out what we want to keep and what we want to let go. So deep that we realize that there are two parts to us, our divinity-soul -higher self and our humanity.

Our higher self knowing that our humanity needs to evolve sends her off to learn life lessons in order to achieve a purpose.

Our humanity supported by the higher self builds up the courage to step out, and then realizes that in the process of being courageous needs to open up and be vulnerable when exposed to new things that seem so difficult especially because they are in front of others. So, fear, anxiety, shame, and doubt surface. Our humanity may come back to the higher self feeling powerless and defeated, but if you have allowed your higher self to stand strong and connected, the higher self, with compassion, will hug our humanity and explain the process of growing through the feedback received in every step we take towards a goal, a new lifestyle, and a dream worth growing for. So, our humanity tries again knowing that the higher self is with her.

The reward of sending our humanity into the world with intention is not only for building skills through practice, but building confidence, connecting with what really matters to us, building crystal clear relationships, loving ourselves, and finding something to be thankful for no matter what circumstance we are in. This, of course, brings us to joy.

Like everything in the life we are living on this Earth, is a process which requires our constant attention so we can evolve. You see, we don’t get to choose to live a life. We have to live one.


Either we design it, or it gets designed by circumstances and other people. We might as well create our situations with intention to learn and grow towards our purpose. Let’s be active participants of the creation of our learning curriculum on Earth. The process is worth it!

Facebook Post September 9, 2019

Change or Die!

Most people who are told by their doctors that they are going to die soon unless they change their lifestyle, actually do change for about 4-6 weeks. Then, over 80% go back to their old ways.
When people work on their personal growth, the same thing happens, but when they give up, what dies is their dream- their purpose. So, they continue to do what they have always done, and they continue to get the same results.
How do we change when will power is not enough? Sometimes what we need is support. Over 75% of patients stick to their new lifestyle when they have the proper weekly or daily support (Book: Change or Die). Today, I invite you to find someone that wants the best for you to support you in your journey. Mentors, teachers, coaches and accountability partners have made a difference in my life. Find the right one for you.

Independence From What

For thousands of years people have fought to be free from others. I learned that first I have to be free from my mind. My mind was a chatterbox and I believed everything it said. It mostly said to follow unwritten rules and concepts that were probably used by my ancestors or by others around me. Some of those concepts included: “You have to blindly obey;” “you don’t have enough;” “you are not worth much,” and “you are not capable.”


Once I realized that I was accepting these behavior patterns, I was able to make the decision to become free of them. It’s not an easy process, but one worth pursuing. It requires that you become an objective evaluator.

One benefit from this for me was improved relationships. I did not need to be controlled anymore because I didn’t believe anymore that others had to tell me what to do. I was and am capable to be, to do, and to make decisions for my well being. So, I learned to say, “No.” I learned to weigh my choices. And I was also able to evaluate relationships in order to ask for dynamics to change if necessary.


If your life is not yielding the results you would like, the problem may be stemming from a paradigm that is no longer serving you. Freedom is a wonderful thing!

Happy Independence Day!

Feeling Successful?

A person who feels successful has three characteristics. First and foremost, they do what gives them a state of wellbeing and joy. At the same time, they also give regularly of their time, talent and treasure, and finally, they love who they become in the process. Success is not just being promoted to CEO, getting a degree, getting married, or getting a job. That is just part of the process.

The first two go hand in hand because if we do not take care of ourselves first (i.e. Putting our oxygen mask in an airplane), we cannot take care or give our best to others. I remember being drained of energy, and always tired, when giving my all to serve in all the possible committees at church and the school where I worked, I ended up sick because I did not make time to pamper myself, and didn’t do the things that were good for my mental, physical, and emotional health. I now meditate daily, walk, eat as healthy as possible, and take time for me when needed by going to the spa, going on mini or long vacations, going to retreats or just being.

Giving, is an extension of being, is a satisfying activity that actually has many benefits. Just the act of giving with a generous, loving intention is more than enough. However, in the process of giving great things happen. You develop a sense of purpose, and a sense of wellbeing. According to Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen G. Post, giving helps with stress and depression among other ailments. He also says that when people give to charities that have meaning to them, a region in the brain associated with pleasure and trust, create a “warm glow” effect – that fuzzy feeling. I talk about giving of your time, talent and treasure because it is a basic component in the ancient philosophies and then adopted by religions as well. People who understand the law of giving and receiving know that giving in these three areas results in amazing returns unimaginable to them.

People who feel successful do not just achieve a goal and say, “I have arrived!” They achieve a goal, celebrate, and continue growing and serving. When we decide to rest on our laurels after obtaining a goal, paradigms, old fears, and bad habits may creep up and keep us down. It does not mean that we shouldn’t take breaks or vacations, those are essential. It just means that Our dream must be bigger than a goal, for our lives to be meaningful. So, people who feel successful love who they are becoming in the process of life.

Clear Days Ahead!

A few days ago, I woke up and felt a bit lazy. For some reason, I didn’t feel like going to my morning appointments. I listened to my body for a bit, but then, I knew I had to get going. I drove on the expressway and got off on a 6-lane road with a small median. I was driving on the far right. I had the sidewalk to my right, and there was traffic to my left and behind me. Suddenly, in front of me, I see a huge brown pick-up truck facing me and speeding my way. The windows were dark, and I couldn’t see inside. I heard sirens and then saw police cars on the other side of the median. I looked around for my options.  For a moment, I couldn’t see any, and the truck was getting closer. Then, as I looked in my left mirror, there was a break in the traffic, and I escaped. Later, I heard in the news that the truck had been stolen, and that he had crashed nearby. A few years ago, my body would have been paralyzed and my brain in a fog in this situation. You see, my mind is not in charge now, I am. I was shaken a bit afterwards, but I was not afraid during the event. Fear comes from negative thoughts, and I choose not to have those controlling me anymore. I have been working for a while to maintain a clear mind.

Preventing brain fog takes more than just changing my negative thoughts to positive ones, though. I have taken the time to observe my actions and my emotions to see how they affect my thinking. I have come to realize that many of my habits either make my mind foggy or clear. The main one is what I eat. If I eat too much, or too little without my daily water intake, my brain does not work well. However, if I eat healthy balanced meals (in my case vegan) in good proportions, I don’t get sleepy afterwards. And if I fast on just fruits, raw vegetables and juices appropriate for my metabolism for appropriate bowel movements, that’s heaven for my head. Fasting one day a week is a good habit to have, but if you need more than that, it’s good to have a health practitioner guide you with your choices.

Along with food, being mindful makes a big difference. It’s easy to accept stress and allow it to take over our minds.  So, we must find a way to decompress by taking breaks, walking in nature, listening to soothing music, using essential oils, doing asanas and meditating.

Here are some specific recommendations:

  • Taking vitamin B-12 if you are deficient
  • Doing the cat/cow pose
  • Doing intermittent fasting (on fruits/vegetables, or just juices)
  • Using rosemary essential oil
  • Meditating with a personal mantra daily
  • Drinking more water than you think you should be drinking
  • keeping worry and fear out of your head by changing your thoughts

Clear days ahead!

Be well!

Who’s Driving Your Train?

Most of us believe that we are in charge of our life, but are we? When we are born, we already come with a predisposition to act in specific ways. I know that my siblings did not react the same way I did to the world. So, where do those patterns of behavior come from? Most of us know that our genetic imprint, or DNA carries the genes that encode the skin, and the eyes, and that mutations in them cause diseases. We now know that they also carry our ancestral and cultural imprints. So, our behaviors may come from a great, great grandparent. We can already see the resemblance in our physical body, why not in the other areas? Studies of children who are adopted have also shown the deep cultural imprints that may be dominant in someone’s life. That is not all, those who believe in reincarnation say that it is possible that we have been carrying our behaviors for several lifetimes. Why do we keep carrying these behaviors?

Early on, there is a part of us that develops and finds its place in our life, that’s the ego. It takes shape as we see ourselves separate from our parents. The ego is our self-image. One of the favorite pastimes of the ego is to drive the train, and the train is your life. Its other pastime is to make you submit to the behavior patterns you have been carrying, because if you stay the same and do not change, you do not have to take risks and get hurt. The ego is constantly protecting you with the use of arrogance, so others don’t see the real you, or by requiring constant approval from others. Your behavior patterns could include always having drama, being accident prone, being constantly, or constantly pleasing others like in my case. The ego makes sure that you continue faithful to your pattern because at some time in the past you accepted it as part of your belief system. The funny thing is that nobody is imposing this on you, you are. If the behavior no longer serves you, you do not have to keep it. It’s time to shake up our belief system to let go of what is no longer useful.

If our life is the train, the track is our behavior pattern, and the conductor, the ego, is driving, then, where am I? In the back of the train? Oh, no! It’s time to have a talk with the conductor. He needs to give-up his seat. How do we go about doing this? The first thing is to start observing ourselves using “the bird’s eye view.” As we separate ourselves from situations and relationships and look down on ourselves, we can see how we are acting and reacting; what behaviors are being repeated, and what behaviors are serving us. The next thing is to stop wanting to control everything; stop wanting to get approval for everything; stop inventing rules to stay in our comfort zone, or stop wanting to please everybody. Finally, we need to make some decisions. We need to decide that we are not the role we are playing. I can be a teacher at this time, later I can be a learner, then I can be a mother, or a helper. We can play the role and comeback to just being. We also must decide to give ourselves permission to be free to change our mind when necessary and allow ourselves to take risks that give us life.

Personal evolution happens when we go beyond our egos.

Be well!

Face to Face with Death

Do you know how you feel about death? Are you ready for the death of a loved one especially if they are old or sick? Do you think about the fact that you could die at any moment? How would you live your life if you had conversations with yourself about death?

My idea of what death is has changed over the years. I believe that the idea culture puts in our heads about what death is, and our experience with it, determines how we feel about it.

According to the dictionary, death is “The cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism.” Most of us on this side of the world see death as the end of a person. Some may accept a little mystery beyond the body but refuse to discuss it. So, loved ones may go through feelings of sadness, anger and loneliness for years. There are cultures that have a different idea of death. They see the essence that makes the body be alive separate from the physical body (a vehicle). That essence continues evolving in a different dimension. Just having a different relationship with death, allows them to be less attached and less selfish, for it is everybody’s purpose to evolve. Not only that, there is an understanding that we are all part of the same essence, so we are always connected.

My experiences with death started young where I observed others and learned how you should behave: One must feel very sad, pray, go to church, not talk about it, and avoid people. It wasn’t until I started meditating that I thought that there could be another way I could approach it. It wasn’t until my uncle’s death that I saw it as a beautiful part of the journey. He was ready to go, so, our conversations took us to his “dreams” of when he slept deeply, how he saw life, and what he had learned. He also talked about where he thought he was going. It was an opportunity for me to be present for him, and it was beautiful.

My grandmother, on my father’s side made her transition a few days ago. We had been told that she was on her last days the day before. So, that day, I dropped off my parents at the airport around 4:00 am to go see her. I went back home to take a nap. I had an interesting dream in which I went through a stressful experience followed by floating down to a most beautiful forest; it was really peaceful! My sister and I decided that it was about me coming home to myself and feeling good about it; however, I think that that feeling prepared me for the news I received a couple of hours after the nap. I could only feel love after my grandmother’s parting; I was not sad. I knew that she was ready to go. She was entering her 101th year. She had lived a full life. I know in my heart that her essence is moving on and evolving. All is well! It is my idea of death that gives me a feeling of peace and love.

What could we gain from changing the idea we have about death? If we come face to face with the realization that at any time, our parents, siblings, partners, children, best friend, or even we can physically stop living, then we would have more meaningful relationships, and we would take care of each other and ourselves more. If we are not afraid of the natural process of someone leaving their body, we can be really present when someone makes their transition. If we are not afraid, we can think about what if my departure date was tomorrow. Would I be ready? Is my conscious clear? Are my relationships at peace? Are my finances in order? Am I leaving many problems for my family?

We would probably lead a completely different life. Wouldn’t we? Maybe you remember the song, “Live Like You Were Dying”? So, let’s take risks that move us forward and give us joy, let’s love deeper, speak sweeter, forgive always, and live as if tomorrow was a gift.

Be well!