I lived most of my life thinking that I couldn’t get things because they were too expensive. I never had enough money, or it had to be saved for food, shelter and transportation only. I always thought that I didn’t know how handle my own money. First my parents, and then my partners oversaw my finances.
I went to many courses to visualize being okay with having money. They didn’t work. I tried spending and donating because the lesson was that if you give it comes back to you. You just need to keep the flow. The problem was that deep inside I didn’t believe that I could have more. I felt that I didn’t deserve it. Even if for a moment, I believed, I blocked the process because I doubted myself.
At some point I started developing worthwhile goals. Goals that made sense to me and that would be shared with the world. Suddenly, it made sense to spend money in these goals. The money made itself available. I started not being afraid of managing it. I became conscious of each transaction. I studied my investments, my credit cards, my savings. I made decisions. Like magic, things were now possible. There was always enough for what I wanted to do for me, and enough to share with others.
I realized later that there were specific things that I had done that led me to feel rich. After I separated from my first husband. I went through a process of forgiveness. I forgave others for what I thought they had done to me. I asked for forgiveness from my ex and my children, and finally I forgave myself. I believe that resolving these issues helped unblock part of the flow of goodness towards me. I still have to learn much about relationships, but I am now more aware, so I can avoid conflicts, or at least not stay too long in the conflict by bringing clarity, love and peace to all parties including me.
The knowing that the universe will provide without a doubt is essential. The universe’s time is not my time, and it’s easy to be impatient. We must trust the process. We also have to be open to the subtle doors that are opened to guide us into our next step. I remember being open to the steps in the process of writing Absolutely Relative. Where do I start? How will I come up with all the material? Can I trust someone to revise it? What about the cover? Do I know anything about publishing? These questions came initially, but I dismissed them. I never really worried about them. As I was ordering a book from Hay House Publisher’s, they were advertising a free video for writers where they discussed how to get started, and how to overcome writer’s block. The only thing I remember from it is that you should write a table of contents to get started. I chose my topics and started writing. In six months I had written nine chapters. The next steps of choosing people to revise, copyedit, proofread, and enhance the book were choices that felt 100% right. There were no doubts in my part. Even though I had a timeline, I did not rush them. I made them all aware of the timeline, but I always said that if they needed more to let me know. Each step in the process presented itself, as I needed it. Everything flowed.
In order to feel rich, I think it’s crucial that we feel grateful about every little thing that the universe provides that gets us closer to peace, love, and our chosen goals. Sometimes, situations, and people come that do not seem to be taking us where we want to go. For this, we need to be sharpening our discernment process, so we can follow our intuition. Our inner guidance helps us decide if what is in front of us, is beneficial for us or not at this moment. So, I may not be rich as defined by many, but I am rich as defined by me. My wealth allows me to create and to do what I think is best for me, and best for those I choose to serve. It gives me joy.